SAN FRANCISCO – Elon Musk recently announced that his new startup Neuralink will actually be able to equip humans with an additional brain chip that will already be preloaded with memories of the latest U2-produced song. This information was confirmed by various sources " extremely disturbed by this choice ".
“We needed a starter album so people could see how the chip works, and U2 is really exciting for us. I know the last time they tried something like this people got mad, but that's just because people hate Apple instead they love me, ”Musk said, ignoring a barrage of messages from Joe Rogan. “Convincing Bono and the kids brings legitimacy to the prospect of 'leveling' the human experience. The best part is if you try to delete it, it downloads another new U2 record – the thing multiplies like Hydra. "
While some fans of the band don't care, in fact they are excited about it, most of the potential customers are puzzled.
"It's obscene enough that the plant will probably follow my every move and send my darkest thoughts straight to the government like a dystopian novel by Phillip K. Dick, but the thought of having U2 on a constant loop in my head it would make me want to jump off a cliff, ”said local music and tech connoisseur Ted Malpitch. “There are always disadvantages to progress…. I also heard that they could install a 90-minute speech that Bono gave on climate change as an update package. It looks like hell on Earth. "
For their part, U2 are thrilled with the format and have confirmed that the record will be exclusive to the new platform.
“We're not putting it on Spotify or anything. It's only available as a memento, ”exclaims Bono, standing on the edge of a cliff on a desert island, staring into the distance with his arms outstretched on either side to form a cross. “The listening experience is an illusion of the brain and we are releasing the record directly to the illusion. You no longer listen to U2 with your ears, you listen with your mind. U2 is an experience: a feeling, an existential abstraction. Also, we'll probably reissue it on iTunes in about six months, with a couple of acoustic tracks. "
This is a machine translation from Italian language of a post published on DataBase Italia at the URL https://www.databaseitalia.it/bono-degli-u2-il-nostro-ultimo-brano-non-sara-su-spotify-ma-sul-chip-neuralink-di-elon-musk-come-ricordo-precaricato/ on Thu, 17 Sep 2020 10:25:46 +0000.