Insatiable government: 110% vaccinated

December 31, 2021. After the fourth phase of the emergency, the fifth begins, while the sixth wave is preparing to make way for the seventh. In all this, the Supreme Council of the Government of National Unity is forced to face an unthinkable problem: the Italians have all been vaccinated. Not eighty, not ninety, not ninety-five percent. General Figliuolo's troops have worked the miracle: there is no longer any trace of a single Italian no-vax. The kidneys of the latter have been metaphorically broken, like the Duce with Greece. Thanks to the introduction of a vaccination obligation with a restorative sanction.

With constitutional law approved by a deaf gray classroom, bivouacked by handfuls of ultra-vax, a reform conceived, desired, applauded by the best heads of the national intelligentsia passed. Article 1 corrected: “Italy is a Republic founded on the vaccine. Sovereignty belongs to Big Pharma which can, at its discretion, exclude no-vaxes from the enjoyment of fundamental rights ”. In the end, they all gave in, except for a few irreducible ones, immediately confined to peripheral islets in the south. Result: no-vaxes extinguished, like no-faxes. There are just a few no-taxes left which, if vaccinated, will be entitled to amnesty. Having achieved the result, the best government ever, led by a prime minister more loved than ever, realizes the terrible mistake.

During a control room, during the night of New Year's Eve, in the ghostly atmosphere of an opaque and smoky room where the New Year's barrels reach, like blurred echoes, the Minister of Health confirms the feral news to Draghi: "Your Magnificence , unfortunately it seems to be true: there are no more Italians that can be vaccinated ”. The Head of Government is livid. Everyone huddles around him, contrite, silent, their shirts unbuttoned, and huge streaks of anxious sweat in the armpits. The maximo leader asks: "Is it really true?". Hope extinguishes hope: "Yes, it seems that – once the population is exhausted and the target is reached one hundred percent – it is mathematically impossible to achieve more". The skeptical leaguers take out their cell phones and try their hand at improbable calculation. Then they nod: you can't do it. “But is it over then? Is it really over? Can't we vaccinate anyone anymore? ”Someone whines. The Minister of Education, after consulting the experts, attests the inevitable, heartbroken: “It seems so, I heard the CTS before: more than 100 percent is impossible. Burioni also agrees. Science says so ”.

A chill, more chilling than the winter night, spreads through the room. Some undersecretaries, underneath, cry submissively. “We can't do more, we can't do more!”: The harrowing screams of the frail tear apart the softening silence. Then, when all seems lost, Sileri lights up, hilarious: “We could do 110 percent. We Five Stars have already succeeded with the eco-bonus! ”. A feverish excitement takes hold of the bystanders. Everyone regains color and looks confidently at the premier. "Yes, but how?".

At that point, Letta becomes less enlightened: “We could encourage illegal immigration. We get a bunch of them, we vaccinate them, and then we give them Italian nationality: only vaccinated, only Italians. The new ius soli! ". They are almost all convinced; but Draghi? The vassals scrutinize him and catch a slight, unequivocal nod of the head. The future man of the hill said yes. Everyone agrees, apart from Forza Italia which needs the assent of the boss. Round of phone calls, but Silvio is not found: he is rehearsing the New Year's speech the following year. Eventually, the gray eminence, Gianni Letta, is tracked down. The answer sets off the wave: "Come on, guys, I always say that my nephew is a genius!".

Francesco Carraro

www.francescocarraro.com

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The article Insatiable government: 110% vaccinated comes from ScenariEconomici.it .

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This is a machine translation of a post published on Scenari Economici at the URL https://scenarieconomici.it/governo-insaziabile-vaccinati-al-110/ on Sun, 12 Sep 2021 07:43:22 +0000.